I always feel so loved by you.

               

Recovering from depression:

Depression is a very serious mental illness but it is also one of the most common of all illnesses. it begins with a gradual state. It can be mild or serious and acute. In today's society of isolation and stressful lifestyles, depression will statistically become the number one cause of death in the future. 

Recovering from depression means you can feel again. It can be difficult because people tend to become addicted to their mental illness. 

Depression took away my ability to enjoy the simple things like prom and graduation. But it did not take my life. And it never will. 

Mental illness does not discriminate. You can be an engineer graduate from Harvard or a homeless man. It doesn't matter. Both can and still will need assistance. 

Recovery means being able to feel again and smile or laugh at the little things. Recovery is a long and painful process and suicide risks go up along the way with certain medications. The process may involve one or multiple hospitalizations. It may come with a misdiagnoses, an eating disorder (resulting from a false sense of control), and other horrible things and sometimes fatal conditions. 

These all make daily life unfunctionable. While your friends may be going on with your lives, your biggest accomplishment will be getting through the day. 

Depression will most definitely hurt your pride, social and intimate relationships, and affect the balance within your family home. 

But Recovery is worth it. Every day that you are alive: living, breathing, fighting, means you are trying. Celebrate the small successes. 

Recovery is worth it. 

"It's Awfully Lonely At The Top"

Independence. It is such an honourable word. I have always had a lot of it because, I guess I worked at such a young age. Learned how to stand on my own and lived far beyond my maturity level. Now I'm such an old soul somedays. Haha. 

Independence means being able to be strong and standing on your own two feet. It also comes at such a price.

When I was little, I never liked team sports. Always wanted to play on my own. Loved tennis instead of basketball or soccer. Because that way I wouldn't have to play as a team. 

Some days I wish I was less independent because I'm in an awesome relationship. Having to learn how to think as a "we" instead of a "me."

Having an independent title and label is hard.

Goodnight all you blog readers out there. 

Xox,

Helena Maddie

Top Shop is such a good store. I love window shopping when I pass by Granville downtown. So happy it opened here. Here's a few outfits from last season...

On Growing Up

You know when you're this little kid who has endless boundaries and all these hopes and dreams? When at one point you were teased or bullied so you in visioned a day where you would blossom into this older gorgeous person with all the confidence in the world?

The truth is, all your insecurities we once had as children are still our insecurities. All the things you thought would make you happy one day, you could be blessed with but it could still be not good enough. Some days I feel like the girl who got everything she ever wanted but still feels like she has nothing. 

When I was a little girl, I had a wish list of all the things I wanted: to be pretty, have money, a good boyfriend. And attend the best college. I hoped that one day I would blossom into this..beautiful butterfly, haha.

When I look at life through photographs I know that surely I have been blessed. My friends and I have had our fair share of good grades, school dances, graduations, theatre shows, and all that jazz. I've been in a loving relationship and experienced the thrill of being young free and single. I've had the university experience and so much more. 

Overall, growing up has been...fun. It has also had its fair share of difficulties. I lost friends and family members along the way. But in hindsight, I wouldn't trade the life I have for anything in the would. 

Good morning everyone and here's my food for thought for the day. Have a great day all you readers out there :)<3.

Xoxo

Helena

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And then she realized: love wouldnt save her. Friends won't save her. Money could never save her. The only thing that could set her free was herself. She had to find it from within.

They say that insanity and intelligence go hand in hand. If that istrue I must be fricken genius :'(

For the Single Ladies ;p

All due respect boys,

These are the worst pick up lines I've heard

"Jeeeee u have a nice voice and face daaaaam"

Ur hot lets do it. 

I flirt with u but then flirt with someone else. Cool story bro, nice move. 

"Omg ur drunk and I'm gonna follow u all night at the party"

HAHAHAA ROFL

;)